Alaska Teleco Amazed by Verizon’s Claim of Intergalactic Coverage Footprint

August 24, 2016

ANCHORAGE, AK---Verizon claimed in an Anchorage, AK press release today that its wireless network included Denali, the tallest peak in North America, and Juno, an asteroid circling the sun roughly between the orbit of Mars and Jupiter.

“This is one small step for Verizon, but a giant leap for humankind,” said Heather Handyside, director of communications for GCI. “At GCI, we got started here in Alaska more than 35 years ago. Though we like to call ourselves an ‘Alaska born and raised’ company, we’ve been steadily expanding our market to include the Pacific Northwest and Texas.  But wireless coverage in space?  We’re just not there yet.”

Though she admittedly doesn’t know anyone on Juno, Handyside expressed a willingness to make a call to Juno if given the opportunity. “What if someone actually answered?” she said gazing skyward.

Asked if she thought Verizon could have been referring the Roman goddess Juno instead of the asteroid Handyside replied, “I think that’s unlikely. I believe Juno’s preferred method of communication is dream messages, oracles and flaming temple cauldrons.  She probably doesn’t even have a cell phone."

Handyside was responding to today’s comment from Heidi Flato, Verizon’s public relations manager for the Pacific Market, who was quoted in the press release as saying, “We’ve got your covered, from the peak of Denali to the Streets of Juno. That’s the kind of real value Alaskans deserve and appreciate.”

Verizon press release can be found at

Media contact:

Heather Handyside